dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
