Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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