forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
