just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
