her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
