My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
