well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
