But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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