She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
