were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
