i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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