So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
