If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
