so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
