I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
