You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Pants are for mortals
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
