Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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