I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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