i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
