I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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