taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
