a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
