wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
