there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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