the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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