I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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