Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize