I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
