ugly people sure do ruin things
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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