the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
