she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
