I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
