he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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