uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
