Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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