I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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