im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
