Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
