never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
