i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
