i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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