Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
