is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
