Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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