90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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