yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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