Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
