D3 body, D1 cock
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I will pee on everything he values.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
