Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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