i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
