My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
