Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
