All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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