ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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