I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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