So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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