Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
