I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
