if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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