There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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