Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
