South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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