I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize